John McCain's Penis: Everyone's Business!!!

So, Repubican presidential candidate and presumptive nominee John McCain has been getting some flack in the press for supposedly messing around with a younger woman, who also happens to be a lobbyist.

I so wish McCain had just replied, "Yeah, we fuck. Typically it happens on my desk, but sometimes I've got a lot of work laid out there, you know, so then we have to use an actual bed. A couple times we've done it on the floor, too--that was really fun. I bet Democrats never do it on the floor! BTW, she really loves it up the butt."

But instead what we get is yet another chapter in the never-ending "You bad man, you had no business messing around with that woman!" chronicles. SO TIRESOME.

For the record, I wasn't planning on voting for him. I still am not. But I do feel a slight tug in the direction of giving him my vote just out of spite for this idioicy.

One more thing. This should be fucking obvious, but I feel I better put this here anyway just to shield myself from asshat lawyers: The above "quote" is totally fictional, and, furthermore, I have no idea whether the lobbyist is actually into anal sex or not. Nor do I have any idea whether McCain has actually had sex with her, NOR DO I CARE, which is the whole point of this rant. YOU SHOULDN'T CARE EITHER. NONE OF THIS IS ANY OF OUR BUSINESS.